Alisyn in the Greenroom

Funny Bumper Stickers

We’e doing a story on how people who put bumper stickers on their cars have more road rage. Tell me some of the funniest bumper stickers you’ve seen and I’ll read them on the air.

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351 Responses to “Funny Bumper Stickers”

Comment by marshall g.

on the back of a rolls royce:
my other car is a rolls royce-

 
Comment by marshall g.

on the back of a mary kay pink cadillac,
inner beauty won’t get your laid-

 
Comment by Marshall

I wonder how much deeper would the ocean be without sponges

 
Comment by Jim -TN

On the back of the big black Lincoln Town Car
If the Screams from my Trunk Bother You, Turn up your Radio

 
Comment by mary beth

Hi Allison,

While I haven’t seen this on a car, I thought about having a bumper sticker made up that says: ” If you think I can’t drive, you ought to see me park!”

 
Comment by Marshall

What’s another word for Thesaurus?

 
Comment by Mike Malone

“I would rather be watching Fox & friends”

Ok, it isn’t really a bumper sticker I have seen, but gosh darn it, shouldn’t it be a bumper sticker! :)

(Get with it Fox News marketing!)

 
Comment by Marshall

If we are what we eat; I’m cheap, fast, and easy.

 
Comment by Marshall

Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect them!

 
Comment by Jim Sherman

“Conserve toilet paper, use both sides”

on a cadillac driven by an elderly woman

Please find the footage of young brian with the “coiffed hair” on the first UFC pay per view

 
Comment by chas

Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids

 
Comment by Salvatore

Kerry/Edwards
Sal

 
Comment by Darea

Driver carries no cash; he’s married

 
Comment by Rick

Don’t Steal! The Government hates competition…

 
Comment by Stacey

Look out! I drive just like YOU

 
Comment by LAT

There’s no such thing as an ugly millionaire.

 
Comment by LAT

On a vet’s truck’s left bumper: “I (Heart symbol) dogs” and on the right bumper: “I (spade symbol) cats”

 
Comment by Salvatore

Alisyn I saw this one a few years ago, it said,
“kill the stupid”
I was thinking I hope they dont kill me,lol
Sal

 
Comment by Keith Sirois

Carpe Diem - manana

 
Comment by Marshall

What if the hokey pokey is really what it’s all about?

 
Comment by Marshall

If at first you don’t succeed, call it version 1.0!

 
Comment by Gini

Alysin,

“BACK OFF!!!! i AM A GODDESS”, was on the back of my daughters car, and it always made me laugh out loud…as it is soooooooo true for sure.
I don’t put bumper stickers on my car, and I don’t think they have anything to do with the road rage at all, of course. That is just silly!! They should have paid me for this as I know the answer!!!! It is allllllllllll about the water bottle that one cannot get open without a wrench!!! and the bag of candy that you cant’ get open, and when you finally do, the candy/chips, whatever, is alllllllll over your lap and car, and the water bottle is still NOT OPEN, and you are then dying of thirst and candy/chips are alllllllllllll over the car and you!!! and the next person who cuts you off, especially if they have a cell phone hanging off their ear, gets the FULL FORCE of the complete frustration of it all. Yep, yep, yep….I am just positive that is the case, for absolutely and positively for sure that is exactly what has happened. lol

 
Comment by chas

Don’t be a pinhead.

 
Comment by Marshall

Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.

 
Comment by Gini

Alysin,

We are just soooooooooo excited, must congratulate Boompa on every space today!!! and the event of beautiful Elizabeth ~~sigh~~ we love babies for sure. They are our future…and maybe this is our future president??? Could be, and we saw it first on F&F, with Alysin. Yep!!! Could be, one never knows…hummm???? lol

 
Comment by Marshall

To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential

 
Comment by Ron

“Careful, I’m in foreclosure”

 
Comment by DSwiffer

“If you don’t like the way I’m driving, stay off the sidewalk”. My house note, my girlfriend, my wife, are all one one past due”.

 
Comment by Chuck Harris

When I die, I want to go peaceful like my grandfather in his sleep. not screamimg like the other 4 people in his car.

(Bumper Sticker)

 
Comment by Luis

Funniest one I saw said “Obama for President” ;)

 
Comment by Mike K

My favorite was: Too bad ignorance isn’t painful.

 
Comment by Mike K

Another I saw: “Buy American before its too late”. It had an American flag turning into a Japanese flag. Not really funny except it was on the bumper of a Honda.

 
Comment by Mike Malone

“Sex isn’t Dirty, Unless You do it Right!”

 
Comment by Mike Malone

“If you like my bumper, Then you will love my headlights”

 
Comment by Mike Malone

“Love thy neighbor, but don’t get caught!”

 
Comment by Mike Malone

“Hard work never killed anyone, but I won’t take the chance”

 
Comment by Tommy Skinner

The funniest one I have ever seen is a bumper sticker on the back of the dirtest car you have ever seen. So dirty you can’t tell what color it is and can’t figure out how the driver saw out of the windows. Sticker says, “A clean car is a sign of a weak mind”. Boy, there must be a lot of intelligent people out there.

 
Comment by Mike Malone

“How are Outlaws Different from In-Laws? Outlaws are Wanted”

 
Comment by Mark

Bumper sticker- Be the Person Your Dog Thinks You Are

(not really funny…but right on the money as far as personal advice goes, AC.

Mark W.

 
Comment by Jayne

On my sister’s Dodge Ram truck: “If you are going to ride my a**, at least pull my hair!”

 
Comment by Wendie

I saw this bumper sticker on an late 50’s model Ford Truck at a Classic Car Show ” A car is like a wife ……if it’s not yours, dont touch it!”

 
Comment by Ed Salazar

Hi Alisyn Camerola
I enjoy watching you on Fox and Friend this morining. I feel that you have a lot better way and ask the right question. You ask Mr Gingrich this morining the question that concern all American while Steven and Brian were asking what Mr Gingrich was wearing and what movies he was watching. You seen to be more aware of what going on. I hope that you stay and the clown go. Keep up the good work!

E

 
Comment by Eddie Good

If you can’t read this Call 1-800-NOT-READ

 
Comment by Dan Watson

seen on a white car in Texas:

I am a Democrat but:
I don’t vote for anyone with less experience than I have!

 
Comment by James Bradford

“Guns Don’t Kill People, Drivers With Cell Phones Do”

 
Comment by Donna Cook

This is THE best all time bumper sticker:

I’m driving like this to piss you off

 
Comment by Jayne

If you are going to ride my a**, at least pull my hair!

 
Comment by Ron Call

I always wanted to create a Bumper Sticker that read: “Some Days I just feel like Ctrl + Alt + Delete”
So now if someone does create the sticker, please send some of the royalties my way. ;-)
Ron

 
Comment by Artie Curtis

Keep honking - I’m reloading.

 
Comment by Kym

This is by far the funniest bumper sticker I have ever read.

Get any closer and I’ll flick a booger on your windshield.

 
Comment by Maime Corbett

One of the funniest bumper stickers: “I’m voting for Monica Lewinski’s ex boyfriends wife” :)
Love your show! Maime

 
Comment by Sam

Drive a Hybrid….I need your GAS!

sam
Texas

 
Comment by maggie boineau

My husband and I have two daughters and this one caught our eye in Myrtle Beach, SC. We saw a really beat up old hippie van and it had a bumper sticker that said:” Don’t laugh at this van, your daughter might be in it”.

Thanks, Maggie

 
Comment by Charles Blackford

My Sheltie is smarter than your honor student

 
Comment by Dave in Az.

Don’t bother me, I’m running out of room to hide the bodies!

 
Comment by gary

bumper stickers “russia sucks” and “buckle up hell ill buckle up when ted bundie buckles up”

 
Comment by Mike Fincel

My daughter is a teacher. Her bumper sticker says”If you can read this bumper sticker thank a teacher”.

 
Comment by pete C

couple of my favorites:
Keep honking, I’m reloading
I love cats, they taste like chicken
Horn broke, watch for finger
I’ll buckle up when Bundy does ( oldie but goodie, still seen around Florida)

 
Comment by Maine-ah

Be Alert
(we need more lerts)

Whats worn under a Kilt?
Nothing! All Parts work okey-dokey!

 
Comment by Beau Scott

If “War is not the answer” then we would still be British

 
Comment by lola brooks

spotted owl….taste like chicken

 
Comment by Sam D

Drive a Hybrid…I need your GAS!

sam
Texas

 
Comment by Jim

Bumper Sticker : I love animals their Delicious

 
Comment by Claire

On my husband’s car from the kids
“BACK OFF!! I’ve got kids, a pile of bills and a cruddy car. I’VE GOT NOTHING TO LOSE.”

 
Comment by james foster

“I owe, I owe, so off to work I go”

 
Comment by Kenny Sanders

This was the best one I had seen in a long time and appropriate given the times we are in.

“I have tried to see things from a liberal’s perspective. But, I’ve not been able to get my head that far up my rectum.”

 
Comment by HEEM

“When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail”

 
Comment by Sharon

My favorite bumper sticker…

IT’S OK TO DREAM…..JUST DON’T SLOBBER ON THE PILLOW!!

Ya’ll have a great day…it’s a beautiful morning in Arkansas

 
Comment by Trina P

Bumpersticker:

Keep honking, I’m reloading.

btw. Love your show.
Trina

 
Comment by Steve

Saw this one in Virginia and bought one.
Stop tailgating me or I’ll flick a booger on your windshield

 
Comment by Norma Ryan

The most clever bumper sticker I’ve seen: Where are we going and why am I in this handbasket.
Norma
Lexington, Ky

 
Comment by lola brooks

on the back window of a logging truck. spotted owl….taste like chicken

 
Comment by Don

This blond is such a Bimbo…

 
Comment by Donnie

On a Honda:
“Got Rice?”

On a lowrider:
“No fat chicks, will bottom out”

 
Comment by james foster

“If you believe there is no God– YOU BETTER BE RIGHT”

 
Comment by Wayne Turner

I saw a bumper sticker yesterday that read: “MY OTHER CAR IS OUT OF GAS”

 
Comment by Pam Stenzel

Don’t Drink and Park …. Accidents cause People!

 
Comment by al

i love mantees they taste just like chicken

 
Comment by HEEM

Why do men die before their wives? Because they want to!

 
Comment by Don

Who did she have to do to get this gigg?

 
Comment by Eddie Good

How do you tell the differance between a Republican’s car and a democrat’s?
on the rear bumber of a democrats car - Run Obama Run
same one on the front bumber of a Republicans car

 
Comment by John

Seen in Boston Mass - “TED KENNEDY’S OLDSMOBILE HAS KILLED MORE PEOPLE THAN MY GUN”

Seen in Daytona Beach, Florida - “GROW YOUR OWN DOPE - PLANT A MAN ! ”

Seen in Ossipee, N. H. - “POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS NEED CHANGING FOR THE SAME REASONS”

Seen in Ossipee, N.H. - “VEGETARIAN - AN OLD INDIAN WORD FOR BAD HUNTER”

 
Comment by al

i love manatees they taste just like chicken

 
Comment by Peggy Fahey

If you can relate to this bumper sticker, you’ll burst out laughing…….I saw it on my neighbor’s van!

I HAVEN’T BEEN THE SAME SINCE THAT HOUSE DROPPED ON MY SISTER!

 
Comment by Bob Faber

Ted Kennedy’s car has killed more people than my guns.

 
Comment by HEEM

Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

 
Comment by Robin B.

To me bumper stickers were starting to all look alike until I saw “Poopoo occurs”

 
Comment by Pam Stenzel

This is for you Steve:

“The Happy Couple: MR. RIGHT & MRS. ALWAYS RIGHT”

 
Comment by Maine-ah

bumper sticker on a tuck

When it absolutely, positively must be destroyed overnight
THE US MARINES

 
Comment by Mary Hesselgesser-Wright

Good Morning.
I have a great license plate frame. I have worked in the medical field in a laboratory for 30 years.
My frame says:

THE LAB CALLED …. YOUR BRAIN IS READY !

I cannot count how many positive comments I have received on this one.

 
Comment by Maine-ah

on a bumper in Portsmouth Nh

Proud to be an infidel

 
Comment by HEEM

Hi my name is HEEM. Remember it, cause you’ll be screaming it all night long

 
Comment by Don

Now they are interviewing a dwarf about love. This show has nothing better to do, amazing…

 
Comment by ARLENE LIANTONIO

MY WESTIE IS SMARTER THAN YOUR HONOR STUDENT!!!!!!!

 
Comment by Bob Faber

I got 37mpg while driving from Md to Texas with the cruise set at 65! 2006 Honda Accord.

 
Comment by MARK D

ONLY A LIBERAL COULD TURN A TERRORIST INTO A VICTIM!

 
Comment by Dan Heath

What I want to put on my car. They speed up, they slow down, they climb hills at 30 mph and go down the back side at 70+; “I’m on cruise control, What are you on?”

 
Comment by Jim Byrne

“Hire a teenager, while they still KNOW EVERTHING”

 
Comment by HEEM

“Religions are just cults with more members”

 
Comment by HEEM

“When religion ruled the world they called it the Dark Ages”

 
Comment by Bob Weir

Funny bumper stickers;

So you’re a feminist…Isn’t that cute!

Horn broken, watch for finger

I’m just driving this way to tick you off!

Keep honking, I’m reloading!

Where are we going? And why are we in this handbasket?

Really enjoy Fox & Friends,,, Keep up the good work!

Bob Weir

 
Comment by Mary Hesselgesser-Wright

I have a great license plate frame which is as good as a bumper sticker. I have worked in the medical field in a laboratory for 30 years.

My frame says:

THE LAB CALLED…YOUR BRAIN IS READY!

I have enjoyed this frame and have had many comments on it and have seen lots of pointing and laughing in my rear view mirrow.

Have a great day. I watch you guys every morning prior to getting ready for work.

 
Comment by HEEM

“If guns cause crime, all of mine are defective.”

 
Comment by Wayne Lucas

Bumper sticker:

If you can read this bumper sticker, I’ve lost my trailor

 
Comment by HEEM

Vegetarian — Indian word meaning “lousy hunter.”

 
Comment by HEEM